This seems to be a particularly ugly topic as you’re planning your upcoming wedding, right?  But, I think it’s a topic that should be discussed.  What made me think of writing this post was what actor Will Smith said about divorce earlier this week on Barbara Walter’s ABC News Special.

Every December Barbara Walters presents the 10 Most Fascinating People, an hour long special on ABC featuring the year’s most intriguing people in sports, entertainment, pop culture and politics.  This year, Will Smith snagged a spot on Barbara’s prominent list.  And I found what he had to say about marriage to be thought provoking.  Because no matter who you are, no matter how wealthy or successful you are, people face the same kind of challenges in marriage.   

He said “Being married is the most difficult thing you’re ever going to do in your life.  And anybody whose married and divorce is an option, you’re getting divorced.” 

It’s true – Which is why almost half of all marriages (in the U.S.) end in divorce.  Ok, so this school of thought is nothing new.  But I think there are a lot of people out there who really don’t talk about this with their soon-to-be life partner before the big day. 

And it’s not as though Will Smith hasn’t been divorced himelf.  His marriage to Jada Pinkett Smith is his second go around with the nuptials.  In some circumstances, divorce is the only alternative.  I get that.  What I don’t get is the people who seem surprised that marriage is not eternal bliss.  My parent’s have been together for more than 36 years.  They’ve had their good times and their bad times.  And they’re still together!  Same with the fiance’s parents.    

And as someone who’s going to get married in the next coming months, I think divorce is a topic that should be discussed.  Because, marriage isn’t about planning the wedding it’s really about a lifelong committment  – through good times and bad.  And as much as we’d like to think post marriage will always be a “happily ever after” story book tale, that’s simply not the case.  It’s important to talk about expectations, roles and responsibilities and what you want out of life.   And both parties need to be in agreeance of eliminating divorce as an option. 

My fiance and have had the conversation.  And we continue to have those conversations.  We both know it’s not always going to be so easy.  I’m excited to start my life with this man.  It should prove to be one hell of a ride!

Check out Will Smith’s interview on Barbara Walters 2008 Most Fascinating People Special

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